FEELING SUICIDAL OVER SECRET DEBT

I CAN’T stop spending. Yet I’m in so much debt it’s untrue.

My partner has no idea how desperate I am. I feel suicidal. And sometimes I hate myself so much that I self-harm too. 

I’ve blamed our new kitten for the scratches on my arms and legs, but they are completely self- inflicted. 

My problems all started when I lost my job. I was so ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know that I’d been fired for screwing up an important order. 

So I pretended that I was still earning and carried on going out with my mates and spending on clothes, shoes and make-up as usual. 

Then I got a new job, but it only paid a fraction of my old wage. Again, I didn’t want to lose face, so I lied and told everyone that I’d actually been promoted and had doubled my salary. 

I got my mum a new watch, my boyfriend an Xbox and treated my two best mates to a spa break. 

I felt I had an image to maintain. I was consumed with pride, but I was whacking everything on credit cards. 

Then my dad got cancer and I started spending even more to block out the pain. 

Now I’m totally addicted to shopping. I hit the shops and bust out the plastic every day. I feel great when I’m spending but, by the time I get home, I feel sick. 

I don’t even wear half the tat I buy. I shove it all in the spare room and have a drink. 

I just don’t know what I’m doing any more. I’m pushing my partner away in bed because I can’t bear him touching me. 

I’m still lying to my mates and I’m completely ignoring all the calls and letters from the bank and credit card companies. 

My life is a complete mess and it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t been so proud and dishonest about my financial state in the first place, then none of this would have happened. Who can help me? 

JANE SAYS: I’m afraid that ignoring your creditors is not an option. You’ve got to take a deep breath, open those envelopes and work out what you owe and to whom. 

Once you’ve written everything down so you know exactly where you stand, you should check out the National Debtline website at nationaldebtline.co.uk. 

Visit the debt advice section and  see what your options are for dealing with your debts. 

You can download an information pack and copy sample letters to write to the bank and credit card companies. 

If you would prefer to talk to someone direct, there is also a helpline on 0808 808 4000. 

You’ve also got to come clean with your partner too. He needs to know what you’re going through in order to support and help you. 

He could start by taking as many clothes as possible back to the relevant stores for a refund and getting an appointment for you at your GP’s surgery. 

I’m so glad that you’ve written to me, because you can’t possibly continue to shoulder this burden on your own. 

You need professional help for everything from your over-spending and self-harming to your drinking. 

There is always light at the end of the tunnel and, if you allow the right people’s advice, you will com through this

» MORE 'JUST JANE' HERE...

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